Miss you.
It's been a bit tense at my home in the past two days. The housing developer told us that our house will be ready on 28 March. It's slightly earlier than we expected because we've always planned for April. My mom is freaking out because she thinks the timing is so tight. It is kinda true because her official retirement should also be late March. And she insists that we should be there immediately when the house is ready.
She becomes very irritated and impatient whenever she is stressed out. She also gets so irrational and it's so hard to communicate with her. My dad's responses to her also aren't helping, it often only makes her even more agitated, and it turns our dinner into very tense discussions.
I personally also didn't expect that we need to be there in late March. I was thinking it'd be mid or even late April. The more I think about this trip, the more aweful I feel. I can foresee it's gonna be a very very tough trip because of my mom and dad. They aren't even physically there yet to settle down and they are already having so much debate, I can't imagine how it's gonna be like when we are there. And you know that I am such a conflict avoidant person and I tend to stress out when I am stuck between people.
I also don't want to fly again that soon especially the trip probably won't be just a few days. It's just really tiring mentally and physically. I've been back to HK for a week now but I'm still struggling with jetlag and having to adjust mentally to a different environment. Late March is only 6 weeks from now, and I'll have to mentally pep talk myself, take that 14-hour flight that feels like forever, and readjust to a different time zone and environment again. Not to mention the trip isn't a vacation. Just imagining that is enough to stress me out.
My mom lightly mentioned today that if I don't want to go I don't have to. But honestly we all know how unachievable this whole thing is gonna be if I am not there to help them out. I also do feel that I hope this can be an opportunity for me to show my support and love to them as a daughter, although I know it will be very challenging with a lot of sacrifices.
I miss you. I really wish you can be here to give me some moral support and hugs. I always feel I have this extra bit of strength and courage when I know that you are here to support me and believe in me. You make these challenges in my life slightly more bearable. Miss you.
Yorumlar