Today is the last day of November, and my fear of December is growing bigger and bigger.
I used to really like December because of my birthday and Christmas is my favourite festival of all. But after last year's, December has become the scariest month for me.
I feel like no matter where I am, Hong Kong or the UK or oversea, how far I try to run away, I am still being forced to face my loneliness during this season. And I am honestly so scared that I will experience the same breakdowns I had last year again. Just the thoughts and memories of those are enough to scare me.
Just putting these vulnerable thoughts here today. I cry over this and I have zero idea how I am going to get through this. But I feel God's comfort for me is he promised he will be me even in the cry and in the fear.
Miss you.
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