.

I still have been texting with that guy since we came back to HK separately. But he is starting to reply me less and less, obviously he's busy meeting his friends, and girlfriend of course.

I feel so hurt inside. I should have seen through this. He never really liked me and I am only his 'company' (or whatever he likes to call that) in the UK.

Yet I am so desperate to want to feel cared by another person, I've been trying to get it from him. I don't even have that kind of real affection towards him. I just selfishly want him to give me what I've longed for and waited for so long, even knowing that I will never love him and he isn't going to love me either.

So you think you are the worst Andy? This guy just dumped me after touching me two nights during the period when I am the most vulnerable.

After all, I am still the same. I am still lonely. Except it's with a few more layers of hurt now.

This doesn't feel good at all. It feels terrible. It feels so terrible that I just want to run away from life.