Monster Hannah came out and took control the whole day today. Probably because it's start of semester break and there's no plan, nothing, I lost motivation.
It took me 3 hours to get out of bed in the morning. Then I went to supermarket. After I got home I really lost motivation to do anything so I just crawled back into bed and cry and cry and cry.
The pain was so unbearable. So painful that I keep praying to God if He can just take my life because I don't want to make this through and I have nothing to look forward to.
Sometimes at those moment I would think that how good it would be if someone was here to just tell me it's okay and be here with me. But then there's just no one.
Sorry. I shared about a sad day again. I just can't imagine how I can live through my birthday and Christmas and then new year all by myself here. I am probably too timid to end my life, so I guess I will still be alive until next year, unless God answers my prayer.
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