🌊

My brother went out to London, so I told my parents I needed to sort out some stuff in the room today so that I got to have some alone time.

I lied on my bed and listened to the few songs that you recorded for me (Payphone when you got your new guitar and another few you recorded in Cozi hotel), then I read those messages from you that I saved in my WhatsApp conversation. They are words that keep me going. And I started crying nonstop as I read them.

I finally had the chance to be alone and just cry out everything. Crying out how much I miss you, how far away I am from my support network in HK, how frustrated I am with my parents, how anxious I am with getting ready to move in to the new apartment and start school. I was just overwhelmed with all the challenges and felt like I was drowning.

At that moment there were only two things that made me feel better — listening to your words and singing, and praying to God for all my struggles. I felt calmer after I took a nap.

Perhaps it’s because I am having PMS, but even so, I know that these emotions are still what I feel, and I am glad that I have the space to swallow it.

I pray to God every day that I trust in His timing and plan for us, and that He will work all things out for good. But I also pray that as He gives us lessons to learn and grow, He will make it easier for both your and my side as we go through hard times.

I am finally getting the key to my new apartment the coming Monday, and it’s going to be an intense week of sorting out furniture and everything. I will tell you about it another day. Also just realised I never showed you the car my dad bought, think I might keep it because my apartment comes with a parking space.

Also thought I looked cute but then later on I thought it’s so ugly. But will anyway show you this after-crying cheeky face with swollen eyes