Diary: Day 359

This pic probably sums up my yesterday attending the Disney event in Tsim Sha Tsui.

It was hot, Tsim Sha Tsui was crowded. My anciety just kicked in as I walked out from the ferry.

I met Jojo, Jenny and a few more from Meyer Labs. I am the fakest person in the world and I pretended to be at high energy level, but I couldn’t even look at anyone.

I wanted to run away all the time, so I made a lame excuse and left early when everyone was still there.

I left feeling like I just wanted to forget that 2 hours and pretended it never happened. It was so overwhelming and traumatic, and again it's nobody's fault, nothing terrible actually happened. But I just felt terrible about it.

I have been trying really hard to cope in the past 2 weeks since I came back and I know what my problem is. I put a grey filter on everything I see, I am scared every time I go I don't even know why. I am scared even when someone tries to have eye contact with me.

I miss you and I miss having people that make me feel safe.