I decided to stop replying and not text with that guy anymore. I was almost going to sleep but I don't know why I started crying a lot.
It feels like I will never recover from these wounds. I wish someone would just text me 'are you okay?' But I didn't tell anyone what happened because I am afraid to be judged, so I can't expect anyone to notice something's wrong with me.
The crying is so unbearable that I just want a relief. I even think maybe I should just go back to him and leash out. Tell him how painful I have been and just beg him to give me some relief. But as unbearable as the pain is that my whole body is all shaking, I tell myself: I am not going back. I am NOT going to let him hurt me further. Even though I can't even breathe and I feel so empty, I will hold on tight in pain in order to protect myself from more pain. I am NOT compromising anymore.
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