Today is the first day after a month that I felt I had some proper alone time and rest. I spent my whole afternoon alone in the new apartment after dropping my brother and mom off at the airport and my dad at the town centre in Kingston.
I can’t deny that I feel extremely lonely after my brother’s gone. And I finally had the chance to cry out my sadness. I just cried nonstop on my bed. I guess it’s a good thing that I could cry it out. It means I could still process the emotions. I still remembered after you’re gone, I didn’t burst out crying immediately because the emotions were too intense for me to digest.
Tomorrow is a start of new week, also starting this new temporary routine of just my dad and I living together that I need to learn and adapt again. To be very honest living with him in this apartment was never what I wished. There’s gonna be a lot for me to adjust and tolerate, and that makes me miss you even more. If being with my brother is 80 out of 100 happy for me, living a life with you is 250 out of 100. I miss that very much.
This is me with swollen eyes after crying so many times in a day lol I think I finally have time to show you the apartment, so I will try to find a day this week when my dad is not here and I am not crying lol
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