Heyyy my dearest favourite, I hope you are doing okay. You haven’t read my posts in the past two days, I guess it’s because you’ve been busy back home. It’s totally okay, you can read my words whenever you want to, no pressure :)
I hope you are not pushing yourself too hard this time you’re back home. I still remember how you were very stressed during your last trip to take care of your mom. I know you must be trying very hard to make everyone happy, and it must be very frustrating for you in difficult situations like now. It’s okay if things still aren’t going as you wish even when you try very hard. We need to learn to let go and understand what are the things that we can control and what we can’t. I am learning this lesson every single day, as all the overthinking thoughts try to creep inside me. Sometimes I feel I am barely functioning because I worry too much about you and I just really want to ‘do something’. But I know that will be unwise in situation like this. And I still fully trust that when you are ready to look for me, you will. And meanwhile, I will learn to wait.
I am fighting my own battles too, definitely not as big as yours, but I also feel frustrated a lot of times. I tried to have a conversation with my dad this morning during breakfast about how long more he is staying after my mom and dad are gone. And then he just went to extreme and thought that I don’t welcome him and want him to go back soon because he’s a burden. The cruel truth is there were a lot of ‘incidents’ during this trip that shows how he has aged a lot during this trip, and he definitely needs someone to take care of him. But he doesn’t admit that he needs any help and it’s just impossible to communicate with him because he is so stubborn and he will just jump to the extreme conclusion. I almost cried because I was stressing out, but luckily I held the overflowing emotions within myself.
Dealing with family issues is not easy. If you are struggling too, even mine’s so trivial and incomparable, I am definitely with you. Hey I know I have said a million times already, but I am always ready to help you in any way. And I really want to. I will always support you, stay strong. Love you (as much as the ocean).
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