I miss you

I miss you.

Recently my brother has been going out with a girl very often, and he also talks with her on phone every night. But he puts her on speaker, that's why I can hear it's a girl.

I am glad for my brother that he gets to 'flirt' with someone. But on the other hand I felt triggered inside. My brother hasn't started working again so he spends a lot of time at home. But he always stays in his room and he doesn't respond to me when I call his name or find him in his room. He also always sounds like I am disturbing him. Yet he seems to spend a lot of time and attention to this girl.

Recently I feel especially lonely at night. Especially I could hear them chatting every night at the next door, but all I have is my imaginary friend, the pinky soft toy dog. She is the only company I have, and I hug her every night when I am on bed.

I feel bad that I feel that way about my brother. I shouldn't compare myself with that girl. But I also do feel sad and lonely. Why do I always have so many emotions? I miss you.

I took this earlier today.