Hey dear, I miss you.
Today I went in the office because someone from the US whom I work closely with was visiting. He was coming alone and I am the one from HK who's been working the closest with him, so I kinda became his 'receptionist'. I went in the full day (I usually only go in in the afternoon), I brought him to walk around and introduced him to different people, had lunch and made many conversations etc.
He is actually a senior director in the US. But I also feel he has been one of the most genuine people there, so I wanted to make sure he feels welcomed when he is here.
But as you also know about me, it drains me a lot to do this kind of stuff. Maybe it's also because it's Monday and I felt less 'warmed up', I could feel my energy was already running out at around 4pm.
I had to fake it that I was still doing okay and functioning, but I was actually already at the edge of shutting down and I really needed a safe space immediately to regulate my emotions and energy.
Whenever I reach that edge in the office, it makes me really really miss you all of a sudden. I sometimes feel unsure about driving to the office, because I worry that if I am at that unstable emotional state when I go home, it's actually quite dangerous to drive.
I made it to home today safely, but I just had to cry it out in the car first before I went up home. I told myself that I did a great job being kind and nice to him and all the different people that I met today. Even though I might not completely feel like it emotionally, I tried the best that I could, and it's okay to cry it out.
This is me after crying in the car after I parked, a weird smile. Miss you a lot.
