More sharing

morning dear, how are you?

for now I might try to drop you these sharing in the morning instead of before my bedtime, cause sometimes I might be texting with Chung at night before bed, it feels like I would have to split my head if I have to write to you too at night.

For the last two days since the sunday chat, as I expected, he has more to say and ask after digesting things I’ve said. He expressed many times that he really appreciates that I trust him and open up to him, and he gave me a lot of gentle reassurance that he’ll keep my secrets. However as he can imagine, he has a lot of concerns especially knowing that I am still writing to you, and that shows I still have lingering feelings for you. I didn’t deny that, and that’s why I know there’re still things to be figured out on my side, and I believe that it will still take me some time.

I really appreciate him because despite me being so honest and upfront about my situation, he still tried to be understanding and patient, I know that is not easy especially when he has feelings for me. In fact the night before, we were chatting more about this and in the end I could feel that he couldn’t withhold his emotions and kinda made some comments, and that got me triggered as well, and in the end we both just said let’s go to sleep. The next day (yesterday) when I woke up, I felt really bad so I sent a long text to him to apologize for overreacting. And last night, he drove over to my home for 15 minutes before his night time gathering just to apologise in person and make sure I’m okay. He even gave me some massages because he knew my period is coming soon and he wanted me to relax.

I know his affection for me is genuine and he really wants me to know that I am loved and cared despite all the things I’ve gone through. Perhaps because I haven’t felt that for a really long time from another person, this love feels too warm that is a bit overwhelmed, and I’ll need to take time to get used to.