Science 🧬

Hello Andy, are you back in HK? Miss you.

Today is 'rest day' of the week for me, meaning it's the only day with no Meyer work no school work. But I am not feeling particularly well today. I seriously suspect that my depression is related to my hormone sensitivity.

I am sensing a pattern of my 'mood' that matches with the hormonal changes throughout a woman's cycle. For example, I feel particularly depressed 1-2 weeks before (not during) my period, that's when the body stops producing 'happy' hormones. It's called Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), which is more severe than PMS.

Another example is whenever it's the few days around my ovulation (that's when the sex hormone level is high), I will miss you at a different level like...I really want you to get me to 99...🙈 and it's almost like I can't get that thought out of the way and it'll show up in my dream. (I know that sounds so horny)

If I understand correctly, these hormonal changes throughout the cycle are normal for woman. But for some reason I am 'reacting' to it in an abnormal way. Like I used to feel sad and annoyed before period, maybe with a few more symptoms. But now, those suicidal thinking will just pop up out of nowhere everyday during that 2 weeks, while for the other weeks the depressive thoughts are comparatively mild.

I am entering that two weeks now. And at the same time I feel physically unwell, like stomach cramps, tendered breast, nausea, increased appetite.

Just using a very scientific way to describe how I am feeling now. Hope it helps you understand me better. Good night dear.