Seashore chat

hello dear, how are you?

for me, my period is coming soon so I’m experiencing pms again, feeling mood swings and also very tired :(

Yesterday I met with Chung after work (haha, it sounds like we meet almost every other day..), I was in the office so he came over to find me after his work. We had dinner and then I drove us back to HK Island East side. I was actually super tired especially because work was also quite hectic, but I know he wanted to spend more time with me and chat in person in response to all my sharing on Sunday, so we went to a seashore between my place and his in Siu Sai Wan after dinner.

We chatted a bit on how we see each other, and then he asked me how ready do I think that I am to start a new relationship. I gave him a very honest answer, I told him that I know I am not there yet. But I also told him, how it feel is that I’ve been walking through a forest for a really long time. And for many years, I’ve always felt like I will never be leaving the forest and just stuck in there. But gradually as I surrender my life and future to God, I realise despite being in the forest, He’s actually in there leading me through. And right now, my current state is like I could finally see the destination/the exit out of the forest, but I just don’t know the path/the way to get there. I also told him that I actually don’t know how the “destination point” actually looks like, as in how life would look like for me if I eventually got there, but I believe God knows and I’m going to surrender and let him quietly lead the way, and not to rush myself to find the way out.

I asked him if he’s “happy” with my answer. He said yes, that’s actually the answer that he wanted to hear, rather than me saying that I’m ready. After that, he said quite a lot of things (but I don’t quite remember because he is a bit long winded, haha), but I remember in the end he said me these words to me: “I hope one day you’ll find your way back to the same old you who sings happily and posts on IG, someone who lives out a joyful life”.

When he said that, it really hit my heart and I started to tear up a bit (though he couldn’t see because it was a bit dark haha), because I know that that was not just Him but God who wants to bring healing in me and wants me to hear these words.

I felt a lot at that moment that I don’t really know how to respond, but after digesting these after a night of sleep, I sent him a medium length thank you message for speaking those words through my heart. I don’t know how far we’ll be able to go, but I know that he’s definitely someone that God has put in my life in this particular season.

Sharing till here for now, I’m still feeling a lot and want to rest more for my pms. Good night Andy 😊