Bronchitis

I miss you. I went out for church and haircut today, then my fever came back immediately. This is my 'sick' look:

I feel this is a reminder for me to learn to rest and start taking care of my physical body.

I remember after I sang at my first vocal class, my teacher already asked if I have any anxiety or short of breath problem. It was a bit of a shock for me and I didn't want to admit that I have those related mental challenges. But he said he noticed that my breathing is very shallow. I actually know too, because I always feel that I can't breathe whenever I cry too hard or have anxiety attack.

He also asked if I do any exercise. I said no... I haven't exercised for more than a year. I used to go hiking maybe 1-2 times a month. But I really didn't exercise at all when I was in the UK, even after I came back.

I don't know if I told you, but since I came back from the UK this time, my weight has dropped to lower than 47kg, which makes me 'officially' underweight according to BMI. I didn't intentionally eat less actually and I don't exercise, so I don't know why the underweight.

As you can probably tell from my photos, I look quite slim? and I like that I look slim (haha), but maybe it's also time to think of how to help myself be physically healthier.

But the truth is...it's already difficult enough to convince myself to get out of bed each day, so not to mention to have to pep talk myself to go out and do some exercise during the weekend.

Sometimes I do feel that I am so far from recovering and living a healthy life, both mentally and physically.

But I guess I can at least start somewhere, by having this mindset to work on my physical health, and perhaps set easier and more practical goals like, I want to train my breathing again so that I can feel less short of breath when I sing.

I got a lot for the coming week, I am supposed to have a meeting with Vincent on Monday, my UK boss is in town for the entire week, and I have a presentation to Stanley (the CEO) on Friday. So I am not sure how I can make it to all of these. I hope I recover soon.

Monday update: I finally went to doctor today. He said I got bronchitis...that explains why I have been coughing all night.