Sunday encounter

hello dear, how are you? miss you.

For me, I am doing okay, just figuring out my emotions and thoughts I guess. Yesterday was Sunday and I went to church as usual, and I saw Joao was there too. This was the first time I saw him again after we last met on his birthday. And in fact, he never replied me on that message about being friends.

I actually have been feeling quite unpleasant about that because I feel like I tried to handle it maturely and be nice to him all these time. But he didn’t even reply me at all, which I felt was a bit impolite. I thought maybe he is angry at me or just doesn’t even bother replying me knowing that “it’s over”. I guess the latter makes me feel quite upset, because I feel like even though I had to be the one who broke it to him, I was never insincere all these times about our friendship/relationship. But then I told myself that even though I feel like I haven’t done anything wrong, it’s not always up to me sometimes on how these things end or go. It is something that I just have to let go of.

So when I saw him at church yesterday, I decided that I would just behave naturally I wouldn’t try to avoid because I don’t think I’ve wronged him, but I also wouldn’t confront him just because of the hard feelings I feel. And after the service, when I passed by his seat as I left, our eyes crossed. So I just said hi calmly, and he did respond, and he said happy new year. We casually interacted for a few more sentences, and then we parted.

I left feeling slightly relieved, because at least I didn’t feel that he was being hostile towards me. So he might just have his own reasons for deciding not to reply to me, but probably not something that I can help with or have to address. And I guess this really put an end to this short chapter about him in my journey. Even though we might still interact briefly at church, I hope it won’t trouble me much.

Miss you. I went shopping by myself after church. I tried on this type of trendy shorts, which I feel I’m officially too old for it, haha. So I didn’t buy it and instead just took a photo for you.

Good night.