Sunday frustrated me :(

hello dear, how are you, how was your weekend?

miss you, I don’t know why but I’m feeling a bit extra emo today :(

I had my vocal class earlier today in the afternoon. As you know I like singing a lot, but deep down I feel like I am untalented and bad at singing. And sometimes I feel sad coming out of my vocal class, because I feel like I just wasn’t able to do what my teacher was trying to help me improve, even though I tried really hard. It makes me feel frustrated and sad.

I actually know that I’ve made a lot of improvement over the last few months as my teacher said, but sometimes I tend to be a perfectionist when it comes to music even though I am not a professional at all and it really is just a “hobby” for me. But music is really important to me, it is my only way to express my most private feelings, that’s why I hold a high standard for myself on it and it sucks when I feel like I am not good at it at all.

I hope that gradually at some point I will feel encouraged by the progress I’ve made so far and be more confident and accepting of myself.

Miss you 🫂

PS: Also, today I went to my favourite fishball noodles place in causeway bay after church before I had my vocal class, and I ran into Edison. He just finished eating at the same place, and he was also alone. I think we both know that we have similar routines of going there sometimes on sundays, but this is the first time we actually ran into each other. I sometimes feel kinda amazed by the similarities between us, but also that we two both just settle on being “friends”. I say “friends” because I still feel that he treats me more like a little sister than a friend, sometimes he’s mean to me and sometimes he quietly goes extra miles to take care of me. But as I always say, I guess I’ll never get to find out how he truly sees me.

That’s him far away in the black shirt, do you spot him?