Sunday hangout

hello dear, how are you? miss you.

Today was a “different” Sunday because of a lot of things. As I mentioned in my post yesterday, there’s a IF lunch gathering because one of their teammates came back from the UK to visit (her name is Sharon). Initially my plan was to attend the earlier church service before going, but I had a really rough sleep last night because of period pain, so I couldn’t wake up in the morning.

But basically because I wasn’t feeling very well from my period and I was running late, I suggested to Edison to car pool, so I drove to his place and he drove my car to the restaurant at Tai Kok Tsui. Because of that, we arrived at the same time, and we just ate as usual.

What shocked me was, after the lunch, Sharon went up to me and said: “So you and Edison are together now?” I was so surprised by the question I didn’t know how to react, so I was like “ahaha eh no, we are just good friends 😅” And she was so shocked and said “huh?? I can tell from the interactions between you two that there’s something going on!” I started to feel embarrassed and I just said no we’re not.

What makes it even more awkward was later on she asked where I’m headed next, and Ed and I actually were planning to stop by the design centre to see the Neon Lights Exhibition, so I felt even more embarrassed when I told her that the two of us are going somewhere. Luckily Edison was not next to us, so he didn’t hear any of the conversations.

I kinda understand why she has that perception, because first we arrived together, and then during the lunch, Edison would help get the far away dishes for me. And because we sat together, I guess we have some natural interactions that hinted that we’re quite comfortable and close to each other, even though there were no physical touches at all throughout the time.

But then as I got home after going to the exhibition with Edison, her question triggered me to think about me and him seriously again. And what I can’t wrap my head around is that I seriously can’t imagine Edison and I having any romantic spark between us. Even like today, I went up to his place to pick him up (that shows how much I care for him), let him drive my car (shows how much I trust him), went to the exhibition together (spending some alone time together outside of work and car), then he dropped himself off at Causeway Bay before I drove back home. But all I feel was like spending a day with my favourite sibling. It wasn’t overly exciting or fun, just comfortable and easy.

I know clearly that he makes me feel stable, I don’t have to pretend to be sociable with him, and I trust him a lot. But I just can’t imagine having any romantic intimacy with him. It’s almost like, I could sleep in the same room with him, and be pretty chill that he won’t do anything to me.

I guess that’s why in my head, I’ve already put him in a position of my big brother. I know we care for each other in our own ways, but I somehow feel there’s also a unspoken understanding that we are not going to develop a romantic bond no matter how close or comfortable we get to with each other. At least I’ll assume that is mutual, unless he decides to break the silence one day.

I took this photo of him today, I said the text on his shirt kinda glows when he walked through this, haha.