Oh I miss you so much in the hospital. I want to thank you again for being with me last Friday. You will never know how much strength and comfort you gave me during that short journey from the office to the hospital. I was very scared for many reasons: I’ve never needed an ambulance before, I didn’t know what happened with my body and why, I’ve never done a surgery before, I couldn’t imagine how lonely I would be to stay in the hospital for days. All these thoughts made me feel super weak, and the only thing that was holding me on at that moment was you being next to me and telling me that it’s going to be okay.
I was on the verge of breaking down when I had to walk into the ward alone. I almost cried when the nurse was asking me some standard questions like do I smoke…where do I live… (Lol how awkward it would be if I actually cried). But I kept looping in my head how you smoothed my hair and told me it’s okay when we were waiting outside the carpark, and how you held my hand with a smile and told me that it’s okay in the ambulance. They became comfort for me to get through the lonely scary nights in the hospital.
Andy I want you to know that no matter how much you think you have hurt me, in my heart those hurt is incomparable to the love and support you have provided to me. Because wounds can always be healed, especially when the love is far greater.
I suppose things happened on your side over the past few days, and you might blame yourself for not showing care for me. But I want to let you know that you didn’t make it worse for me during the past few days. Instead you are one of the key reasons I decided to hold onto because of how you have tried your best to give me all you have remaining.
Andy you are the kindest person I’ve ever met. From how you still always try to be friendly with everyone when I just criticise them so much, to you wanting to fix the mess you think you’ve created. You sacrifice so much of yourself just to give everyone a little bit more. The good intention behind all these is just honourable.
I respect all the decisions you made or are to make. I trust your intuition, and I believe that you will keep your promise and find your strength one day, just like me. And I want you to never forget that, you are a kind person who deserves to be loved and accepted fully. I am always ready to be here for you and I will always love you.
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