The weekend

hello dear, how are you? how was your weekend?

I had an overwhelming weekend because of so much that is going on at the same time, but perhaps in a good way. On saturday, I met with a friend for brunch, and then I hangout with that guy for a few hours before going home for dinner. And today, I had church in the morning and then I went for a car viewing with Edison at Sai Kung.

It was the second time the guy and I met, we were just walking around for awhile in wanchai and had an afternoon tea at a cha chang teng. It felt more casual this time and I think we were both more relaxed. But then I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing or his style, he started to have more “physical touch” with me. I would still consider them as friendly and playful most of the time instead of flirty, but I am not sure if I feel entirely comfortable with it. For example he would pitch my arm and said my skin is soft, or touch my back when we were walking and crossing the road. And then there was a time when we were talking about standard of pretty girls, and I was kind of waving my hands in front of my face and said I don’t think I am pretty at all, then he kinda held my hand and said he thinks I have a pretty face.

On one hand, it did feel a bit nice/romantic, but on the other hand, I also felt quite uncomfortable. I guess deep down, even though I kinda enjoy the closeness with him, I don’t actually feel that “safe” yet with him, especially when I am not sure if I actually like him romantically at all.

I guess for me, I just have many questions for him that I want to understand, not about his past or background, but his current life season, or even why he “likes” me, especially if we really want to consider having a romantic relationship.I also feel like he doesn’t know me enough yet. I don’t blame him because I know that I am a complicated person, and getting to know a person is two sides, I need to be more intentional and brave in sharing and expressing myself in order for the other person to know me. But basically I feel like we need to chat for a bit more to align.

I feel that I am still processing everything, and I have been so slow so far. That’s why my thoughts and feelings kind of just have been jumping from one to another these days. Sometimes I feel excited and needy, other times I just cry without reason and really need space and time.

Lastly to share, the car viewing I went today was really positive. The car checks all my key criteria and comes with a few minor good surprises. It also is at a fair price already even though I haven’t negotiated. I feel like this car might be “the one”, and this definitely feels both excited and scary. But I still decided that I will sleep on it for another night to make sure I’m not making an impulsive decision.

Miss you and thinking about you too. Good night.

Me today:

Me yesterday:

The car: