Thoughts on love 💓

Hello dear, how are you spending your Sunday?

As usual I went to church this morning, and I was struck by what God reminded and encouraged me to reflect on today. Today the pastor talked about how even though we (Christians) are told to love the world, loving certain things in certain ways can also sometimes be 'wrong'. These are some of the things that he said and what I reflected on.

1. Love can be sinful when it arises from the wrong sources.

Why do you love? For me, at first (more than a year ago) I felt that I love you simply because I really long for you. But in the past year as I re-experience God's love, that he still loves me when I am unlovable and everyone else is gone, my love for you is transformed as well. I love you because it reminds me of how God loved me, and this becomes an never-ending source of love for me even though sometimes I might get hurt when loving you.

2. Love can be sinful when it produces the wrong fruit.

I have to be very honest, I feel this has been challenging for me. Remember last time I said I don't understand why I always seem to be a temptation for you? Sometimes I ask myself, is Andy attracted by me only because of my outfit? It makes me quite sad when I think about it that way. I am also scared that you will lose interest in me one day when I am no longer physically attractive to you especially I am not even actually good looking. In my heart, I didn't want to be a distraction or temptation for you. I want to be someone who can help you grow, inspire you to live out your good qualities, and support you to thrive. But I guess I don't always know how to do that, or how to not be your temptation.

My overall reflection on this is that it's not about whether to love or not, but it's about having the right reason to love and loving in the right way. I am still learning and exploring this.

I hope this blog didn't bore you, love you and miss you.

(Sorry, no ootd today because I wore the same clothes as yesterday. Just me with half-swollen eyes and where I went and sat alone to reflect after church)