I just realised 2 weeks has gone by for my UK trip, it means there’re only 3 weeks left (yay, haha).
In fact, one of the things that I have been feeling a lot is how similar this trip has been to 1.5 year ago when I first went to Kingston, except this time the position is switched where I am the one who helps my parents settle.
What makes this similarity very special to me is that it was actually a terrible experience 1.5 years ago during that period. I was extremely frustrated with my parents, especially my mom, and it really affected our relationship a lot. I remember how I felt that I couldn’t wait for them to go back to HK and leave me alone, because I felt that they were not helping but just creating more troubles for me in many ways.
But over the last year in Kingston as I went through my depression and reflected on a lot of things, this was one of the things that I felt really sorry about. I regretted some of the ways I treated and communicated with my parents. I wish I did better to express myself even when I was stressed and frustrated by them.
That’s why in this trip, when I feel that I am going through almost exactly the same situation but in a reverse position where I am helping them, it almost feels like I am given a “second chance” to do it right this time. Especially because we are in a reverse position, I learnt how to empathise them when they are stressed and nervous, and with my own experience last year, I know better how to support them in this process of settling down.
I guess this is also one of the reasons why despite how frustrating it is to deal with my parents, it still seems like I haven’t reached my “limit” to tolerate them. In fact, when I notice the changes in myself on how I choose to interact with my parents differently this time, there is this fulfilling feeling deep inside me. Then I realised perhaps this is one of the ways God uses to heal some of the deepest wounds and regrets I have been carrying.
My dear Andy, we can never change the past. But I believe that God is always able to offer us a second chance. And I just feel incredibly grateful when I see how he does that in my life.
Some selfies I secretly took while my parents are taking a nap. Miss you and love you.
PS. I don’t know why I think about you a lot whenever I am at Tesco
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