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Today's post is slightly different. I had a tough day today. These are the words that I told myself as I finally got on bed tonight:

Silly Hannah, congratulations, you finally made it to your bed after a very long day :)

It's not easy, to start a day with bad period cramps, then have a 3.5 hours meeting with Vincent till 7:15pm while having a really bad headache, and then rush to have dinner with Jojo and Rubychu at Kwuntong.

I know you feel triggered by a lot of things throughout the day: the comments Vincent made, the things your brother shared in the car, the topics that Rubychu and Jojo discussed, the walk in APM that brings back all the memories etc...

I am sorry we couldn't have any mental break in between these things for you to recover. I am sorry you were pushed to the limit that you had to hide in the public toilet to cry and calm your anxiety. We will learn to avoid that in the future. But I am also very proud of you for having the courage to unlock the toilet at that moment and come out to the world again.

I know the world looks very very overwhelming to you at that moment, and I want to thank you for trusting me that I won't leave you alone to face this overwhelming world.

I know you always try your very best to be attentive to the people who need you, even when you only have 1% energy left and there isn't even enough to sustain yourself. It is an admirable quality. I want you to know you deserve to have someone who is attentive to your needs too, that is why we are having this conversation. You are allowed to cry as much as you need, be as vulnerable as you truly are, for as long as you have to. I will stay with you.