👩🏻‍🎓

Today is my graduation. As you know me, similar to birthdays it felt uncomfortable for me to feel like 'it's my day'. But as much as I tried to deny myself, it is indeed a day that makes me feel so blessed.

At the reception, my professor kept telling my mom how great I am. She said I am the top in the class that she actually nominated me for an award (but I didn't get it). She also told my mom that the film festival association that I helped with in one of the projects immediately wanted to get me full time after meeting me once or twice. My mom said to her that she knows that I work really hard even I always keep it within myself and that no one pushes me on achieving any of these.

But to me, it's not exactly the distinction or any of these compliments that makes me feel 'proud' of myself. These words from them reminded me how hard I tried to get through those days with my mental struggles when no one knows. All I hoped for was just that I could make it through, not even imagining to get a distinction.

I remember that back when we met in August, you said you sometimes get frustrated to see that I let the depression defeat me. Now I can proudly say to you:

LOOK AT ME ANDY! DESPITE the depression, hopelessness, bitterness, loneliness, pains and tears — I did it, just as you hope to see me overcome these struggles with my resilience.

I came across this Christian song last night that perfectly describes my proud yet humbled heart:

You move mountains

You cause walls to fall

With Your power

You perform miracles

There is nothing that's impossible

And we're standing here

Only because You made a way

I wouldn't be able to do this if God didn't show up in my helpless moments, comforting me with his love and grace.

Lastly, I just wanted to say to you:

What I hope the most is that this journey of mine can encourage and spark flames in you. Those mountains that you are facing, that probably no one knows, you have the same strong will too to overcome them. I have faith in you.

You think that's too much faith? I wouldn't be able to accomplish what I accomplished if it wasn't this amount of faith that God still has in me despite seeing through all my weakness and darkness.

Hugs.

Some more photos (& bts):