D-2

hello dear, how are you? 😊 I miss you.

My schedule has been quite packed for the last two days, mainly because of all the things I want to do or have to sort out before I go away for a month. For example like tonight, I met with the trip leader from my Vietnam trip for quick and early dinner, then I had to come home for a work meeting at 10:30pm.

But before I went out for dinner, I actually had a mini mental breakdown at home. I was thinking about all the things and people that I won’t be seeing for a month, and then I started to feel a lot.

I think while I’ve been really busy getting things done or meeting people before I go, I sometimes forget to slow down and realise how anxious I actually am feeling about having to be away soon for quite awhile. Sometimes I am quite baffled by myself too, it’s not the first time that I go on a relatively long trip and to the UK. But I just still feel so overwhelmed by it.

I guess I am 30% looking forward to it and 70% feeling anxious about the uncertainty and being out of the comfort zone. I know in my head that every time I go on solo trip like this, God always uses the opportunity to open my eyes and heart, and these trips often become moments where I get to draw closer to God and feel his presence. But at the same time I also feel scared and nervous about having to step out of the comfort zone. I also feel that especially for this time, because I’ve been intentionally trying to be less socially withdrawn this year and participate in more communities lately, I do feel that I’m gonna miss some part of that too while I’m away. There’s also a side of me that feel worried that I might feel disconnected again during my time in the UK.

I know I am going to miss you a lot too when I am there. Not that I don’t miss you when I’m here, but it’s just the UK always makes me think of you a bit more extra 🥺

I am going to rest now. It’s one of the rare times earlier today that I felt quite good about myself and I took these selfies. Sorry about my messy room, haha. Miss you and good night 🤍