How are you these days, Andy?
Today is my "me time" day, I spent most of the time alone in my room. I usually spend my alone time organising my thoughts, having "conversations" with God, and sometimes singing. I actually cried a lot today, but most of them are "good" cry.
I came across a post tonight that talked about forgiveness. It says:
A lot of times, we thought forgiveness is about the other person and whether or not we think he/she is worth forgiving. But in fact, it is also about ourselves. And sometimes, it might just be that we are still not fully ready to face the hurt, and our heart still needs a bit more time to digest before we can let go of those emotions. So if you find yourself unable to forgive today, know that it is totally okay, and God doesn't love you less because of that.
I feel very moved by how these words spoke to my struggle. I know you might wonder if I responded to Edwin. I did, but I am finding a proper timing to calmly tell him I don't think it's good that we meet again. Rather than simply blocking him or avoiding him, I don't want to hurt him back just because he hurted me. It requires courage but I want to handle this properly in the right way, because only by doing so my heart can be resolved and these emotions won't come back and haunt me again.
Lastly before I sleep, I want you to know that I love you a lot and think of you a lot. I am always here for you, and I am always ready to give you more. Miss you, Andy.
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