Hello.
I spent the weekend recharging from the Thailand trip. My vocal teacher invited me to a concert that was organised by a university Christian band that he tutored on Sunday. Turns out the storyline of the concert was related to mental illness. I dropped a lot of tears secretly when the plot came to a part where the girl in the story was cutting herself. It reminded me of what I experienced.
I went to visit the Chinese doctor today. I didn’t wear a tank top this time, just a shirt. I bought him coffee and I also gave him some souvenirs from Thailand with a card. In the card, I thanked him for chatting with me when I was in Thailand (we stopped messaging since I came back), and I thanked him for warming my heart for the words he said to me.
We chatted a lot during our session. Even though the topics are so random and unimportant, I really enjoyed it. He still seemed a bit shy, but he talked a lot more this time and we just kept talking for 40 minutes.
After the session, he messaged me and said he really liked the coffee and the card. He also replied what I wrote in the card (I said I don’t know if we are friends, but to me he has a special place in my heart), he said of course we are friends, and he will try his best to fix my pain and all other problems.
He reminds me of my time with you. The comforting and safe feeling I get when I’m with you. Both of you are talented in your profession, but what really attracts me is the kindness and introverted nature that make you both very adorable and lovable. That is also what brings out the good side of me to shine even brighter.
I know I probably quite like him at this point. But it’s also because of how special this feeling is and knowing he has a girlfriend, I don’t want to cause him any trouble and I am trying to keep a distance. That’s also why I didn’t wear a tank top. Even though I know we probably won’t have a chance to develop anything further, I am still glad to have him as my doctor and good friend.
I wonder why God put him in my life at this time. I almost feel like it is because God knows there’s a broken part in my heart that only people like you and him will be able to touch and heal. While you can’t, he sends someone else for me as a friend and doctor.
I have been listening and singing this new song from moon tang (she has become my favourite HK singer). It’s in Chinese but the lyrics really speaks for me. The song is called “alien take my back”. It’s about someone who feels they don’t fit in to the world, but still try to be brave and stay on the planet.
Miss you, Andy.
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