I guess I don’t really want to go. 🎵

Wonder how you’ve been doing, my dear.

For the past week, I’ve been having nightmares for several nights. Some of them were about my upcoming trip to the UK in 3 weeks’ time.

I haven’t been thinking much about that trip, I guess it’s because deep down, I just don’t really want to go.

That 14 hours lone journey on the flight,

The 4 hour solo drive up to Manchester,

Having to move from hotel to airbnb to a meant to be but really not so much kind of home, then moving on to hotel again and more.

Recently I listened back to this song that I recorded and posted here almost two years ago before I went to the UK. But only realised that I feel the lyrics way more now than that time:

Every house looks the same in my dreams

Every house feels like home for a couple weeks

I've been running 'round trying to find a place where I can breathe

I often cry a lot whenever I hear this song. I always tried to plan in different places to visit in my trips, but really, it’s probably just because I don’t want to go at all and I thought adding more to the list would give me more reasons.

“Home is wherever you are tonight.”

I just want to hug you very tightly now.

Miss you a lot, my apple pie. 🥧