Ball of emotions

hello dear, how are you today?

I miss you, I had a rough day today.

I went to the exhibition centre in Wanchai today for a licensing show. It was a lot of walking from 10am till almost 5pm but it’s also my first day of period today. So I was already quite exhausted before I even got there and not only that, I also had to engage in conversations with the different exhibitors there because I am the key licensing person at Meyer.

I actually felt quite okay and manageable as I did that at first. But during lunch, I suddenly felt that same gut wrenching “homesick” feeling I always get whenever I am on a business trip, except for this time, I am just here in Hong Kong attending this show that is supposed to be less difficult. It’s like I would feel a wave of emotions rushing up from my stomach to my chest, and suddenly I just feel that I lost touch with myself and my body became just a shell. That’s when I figured that I must have overused my mental energy without realising it when I was engaged in all the interactions I needed to have at the show, until I am having these psychosomatic symptoms.

I was both physically and mentally tired and I dragged myself home when we finished at 4ish pm. And when I got home, I took a 15 minutes nap immediately and after I woke up, I just started tearing up so much for I don’t know how long. I stopped crying eventually and I could feel the tension inside me was released for a bit, but then after a while, maybe 30 minutes or so when I am slightly recharged, I feel the waves of emotions again and it repeats all over again until now.

It reminds me of how you called me “a ball of emotions”. I really am a ball of emotions, am I?

It’s tiring to go through this again and again, and I just hope this is temporary. I am also feeling a lot of sore at my legs right now, but honestly what really makes it intolerable is the mental and psychosomatic discomfort I am feeling right now. I am having my regular appointment with my chinese doctor tomorrow, I hope he will be able to help me feel at least slightly better.

I miss you.