Coming back 🇭🇰

hello dear, how are you?

writing this on my flight as I think of you. Usually I am pretty good at sleeping through a night time flight, but because the CX flight from Amsterdam is in the afternoon (land at 6am), I haven’t really been able to sleep much.

I guess partly because I have quite a lot in my mind too, thinking about all the things and routines I have to catch up on once I’m back - work, all the household chores etc. But aside from that, I guess I am also a bit nervous about having to get back to the normal kind of life with social interactions.

Sometimes I find myself contradicting myself, when I was in the UK, there’re a lot of times when I felt sad that I am distanced with my friends and they don’t seem to mind it. But at the same time I know I enjoy the solitary too, and perhaps, I am feeling a bit disappointed deep down with some of my friends, and I don’t really want to come back and face them.

Then it was such a coincidence that I just watched Thunderbolts on the plane, I wasn’t expecting that it talks about getting through mental struggles and dark times together. I actually felt a lot as I watched it especially for some of the dialogue, and I had to try really hard to not drop too many tears haha.

I feel like navigating through social withdrawal will always be a challenge for me. Sometimes I feel so fuelled to build relationships with people and wanting to bring light into people’s lives, but that also drains me and even makes me feel hurt sometimes, and I just feel like being alone and shutting my heart so much to an extent unhealthy.

It makes me miss you extra whenever I think about these things, because you have always been my best friend. We sometimes had tough moments with each other, but we always got back together eventually with deeper trust. And you also would encourage me to be around with others whenever I withdraw myself in unhealthy ways. So I do want to say, thank you for being my best friend 🤍 I really miss having you around and in my life.

This has been a really blessed, fruitful trip that I feel really grateful for. I will definitely take me some time to get back to my HK routine life. But I hope that as I get through this, I can also see what God has prepared for me for my next season ahead.

Sending you hugs from 33072ft off the ground (that’s what it’s saying on my screen) :)

update after landing: I was suprised by fineprint opening at the airport as I walked out! And turns out today is their first day opening and coffee is free! Not sure if you remember but they are one of my favourite coffee shops, and I just feel soooo blessed by this warm surprise welcome especially I landed at 5:30am 🥰