Crowded office day

hello dear, how are you? thinking about you.

Today I went to the office finally after 1.5 weeks. It is a slightly special day at the office because there is the long service award ceremony, so quite a lot of people came in the office. As for me, I am kinda surprised by myself because even though my period is here, my mental state was surprisingly positive when I was in the office. Maybe because Edison is finally back even though he got really sick towards the end of his work trip last week, and I am happy to see him in person again.

But I also said something really brainless and awkward to him after lunch. I asked him if he will be in bangkok for the last weekend of October. I told him that I’m going on vacation to bangkok with my brother and his gf at that time, and I wanted to say if he happenes to be there too, we two can hangout because I kinda want to leave my brother and his gf some alone time. But I don’t know why I spoke too quickly and I just said “I am going with my brother and his gf, do you want to accompany me”. And he made a dry laugh and immediately said “no”. I immediately felt like it is odd, because the whole thing must have sounded so wrong to him. But thankfully the awkwardness didn’t last for the rest of our time in the office.

And when I got home and the more I think about it, I decided to clarify it over messages, so I told him that I didn’t mean for him to come with me, I just meant we can meet if he happens to be around. And this time he said he doesn’t know yet. I said it’s okay we can play by ear.

And today, he made the old joke of calling me a princess again. Sometimes I really feel like responding to that in a cheeky witty way, but I also feel like that would cross the line. And I feel like these days, I care less about guessing how he feels about me, but more about how we can keep each other comfortable in our relationship. So sometimes I can feel that he wants to text with me more, and I will reply more often. And other times he’ll just be really quiet or less responsive, or maybe I need space to regulate my emotions, then I’ll just retreat and be a bit more distanced too.

Lots to think about, 🫂

Good night and miss you.

Me yesterday staying home: