Day 3 of my dayoff

hello my dear, how was your weekend?

Sorry that unlike the first two days of my day off, I don’t have much to share about today. In fact, in contrast to yesterday when I had a “win”, my mood has been a bit low and depressed today.

There’s again not any significant reason. I went to church this morning, then had lunch with Vienna, my brother and his gf, and went home to do some chores. That’s it, an ordinary day. But towards the end of day, I just felt like I am flooded with emotions inside again and I don’t know how to channel them. So I sang some songs.

I put a version of singing this song here quite awhile back, but I want to share with you again myself singing this acoustic version tonight, a much more private and vulnerable version.

Unfortunately this song from moon tang is in Cantonese. I hope you can hear and understand some of the lyrics from me. It describes an anxious soul that feels like she doesn’t fit in the world and longs to find her belonging, wandering in the universe to seek for comfort. But at the same time, she’s learning to be brave to remain to be herself in midst of the overwhelming loneliness.

In my hand is my imaginary friend, the pinky dog. I like to call her my “imaginary friend” because she’s been my company all these time. In my world, she’s a silly baby who looks like a big dog, but actually very timid and scared of making friends with other dogs outside because she hasn’t seen any dog that is same as her, pink in color. So she always just stays indoor in my room, at most in the living room.

I think when I created her character in my imagination, she is actually the inner child of myself, who’s also timid and overwhelmed by the world most of the time, just as the song describes.

That is why when I sang this song, I hug my pinky dog tightly, as if I was singing to the inner child of myself, because I want her to know I love her so very much no matter how “weird” she thinks she is. moon tang probably sings 200 times better than me, but I think I found more comfort playing back this video of my own imperfect and vulnerable cover from tonight.

Need some hugs tonight, dear 🫂