Miss you, my dear.
Yesterday night, I went to fine dining with Vincent and a few others. On one hand I guess it's an honour that he invited me, but on the other hand it's kinda stressful and felt out of place for me to join, because everyone else there feels like a dad or mom to me, or at least a big brother.
You know how I feel about this kind of gatherings. Even though I am starting to realise I don't hate being there, it still takes up a lot of my mental energy to be there. Especially in the last few days, my mental state isn't at its best (I'd say 'best', but we both know it means not that bad kind of state), this did feel quite a lot to me and I almost thought I couldn't make it.
This morning as I woke up, I just realised how unready I am to fly out tomorrow. I miss you, and I kinda feel scared about this journey without you. Maybe it's because I last left the UK with the scar of Edwin. Even if I could only hear your voice, perhaps I would feel stronger to face the many battles that I am facing.
Miss you.
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