Miss you my dear. ❤️ How has your weekend been so far?
My reflection journey continues as Easter Sunday approaches today. I am starting to feel perhaps I like Easter more than Christmas (haha), because of how the significance of this festival speaks to my heart.
There is a lyric of a song we sang today at church that is stuck in my heart the whole day:
"The fullness of God won't be kept in the grave."
The lyric reminds me of the grave I put myself in, that "deep, dark cave" that I always write about when I have a depression episode. I recall how I encountered God over and over again in that cave when no one was able to get close to my broken heart anymore.
But what really strucks me is not just that relation to the "grave". It is realising that perhaps God wants to do more than just staying with me in that cave — he wants to bring me out of it, and he wants me to believe that I will be out of it.
You know how I wrote a lot about how God has worked in me and that's how I've gotten through those toughest moments. But despite that, deep down I'd still felt that I will probably never ever fully recover from the depression and anxiety, and that I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life if I choose to continue living.
But today with that lyric where it says "The fullness of God won't be kept in the grave", I am encouraged to believe that God can do more than just being my comfort in that grave, he can and will also be the light to lead me out of it, just as Jesus is risen from the grave.
Last thing I wanted to share today is, I think I can be quite certain to say the last few days was the first time I've felt genuinely joyful and grateful since a very, very long time. And it's not because I've done anything special or expensive or exciting, or that any situation has changed around me. It's simply because of a heart changed. That reminds me of this saying that I heard awhile ago: Happiness is circumstantial, but joy is internal and eternal.
I don't know if any of these makes sense to you, but I believe we all have our own grave that we think we'll never ever be able to get out of. My hope is that you will be able to find your own faith and believe that one day, you will be able to walk out of your grave too.
Easter is about from 🥺 to 🥹.
Happy Easter, Andy. Love you. ❤️
Photo of a "dramatic" cross at church today, and my selfie:
PS. Just thought I'd mention about Vincent's family matter. He seemed fine that day when we had our 7:30am meeting, just a little bit softer than usual. The company has issued an email to ask us to give the family some space and privacy to handle the matter. As I am not as personally close to Vincent, I decided that I would probably only express my condolences to him if he ever brings it up to me.
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