Emo period Hannah

hello my dear, how are you? I miss you 🥺

I worked from home today but my period hit me really hard today :( I started to have really bad cramps from noon. I immediately took a painkiller but I guess the effect was slower than the pain hitting me, that was the longest 30 minutes for me until the med came in effect. And because at the same time I was starting to feel hungry and I felt that might be related to my cramp too, I had to crawl out of my bed to make myself lunch (I was the only one at home).

I would have stayed on bed the whole day but I had to have a meeting with Vincent in the late afternoon. Luckily my cramp was more settled by that time and the meeting didn’t last forever. But still, I was feeling really emo the whole day (in fact the last past days too), that I would suddenly feel like I need to cry. And these days, instead of keeping it in, I would just let myself cry it out and be emotional for a bit 🥹

In fact, I think one area that I noticed myself improving since my trip to the UK is that I am more in tune with my emotions than before. Sometimes what I am feeling might still be complex and mixed with a lot of thoughts, but at least I think I am more willing to accept that I am not feeling good these days and it’s okay to be feeling a lot. And I think I feel less anxious when I realise that I don’t have to “fix” my emotions or force myself to get better as quick as possible.

I think that’s why I seem more chill on the outside too, and why Edison likes to tease me so much lately. He teased me at least twice on wednesday when I was in the office, when we had lunch with Patrick, there was a drink called children yin yeung on the menu and I asked what is that, then he said dunno but it looks like it’s a drink for me. I gave him a 😠 look and he kept laughing.

I sometimes wonder if guys like teasing me because they like me. But I guess not really most of the time, otherwise they would have done more than that. So I guess it might just be because I behave too silly and childish, or I make them feel comfortable and they see me as a friend or little girl.

So I guess I will just leave it that way and continue to be who I am, it’s just sometimes I wish someone would like me enough to try knowing me and loving me too.

Here is me yesterday, I went to my chinese doctor appointment.

PS. moon tang has a new song called “some days”, I like the song as I think it captures some of my vulnerable feelings. I also really like the music video (how it’s shot and the creative idea) and it reminds me of you 🤍

Pretty sunset color I captured today :) the second one looks like a 🐬