Hello Andy, how are you? It's a bit cold this two days, I hope you are staying warm.
Sorry I haven't written to you in the last 2 days, I have been taking the time to digest and process some of my thoughts and reflections. I do think about you a lot, it's just I sometimes find it hard to write them out to you here when I have many complicated thoughts in my mind,
One of the things that have been taking up my energy is my parents. Their relationship isn't very good recently. My mom thought my dad was sad and stressed in the past week, but in fact my dad was mad at my mom. There is a lot of underlying reasons and feelings that led to it, but my mom is not a naturally sensitive or empathetic person, and she obviously has a lot of stress and worries recently too because of her retirement and the house, so she didn't understand what was going on with my dad.
So my brother and I chatted with my mom till very late one night this week after my dad slept to help her understand why my dad behaved like that and also gave her the space to share her feelings and worries. And then on another night my brother and I also did the same separately with my dad.
I always find it very hard and uncomfortable to have these heart to heart conversations with my parents (or anyone actually), because I do care and want to respond to them genuinely from my heart, but it's very hard for this state of me to do that without getting emotional. (I am still accepting and adapting to how easily I feel like crying these days)
But I am very grateful because while I listen to what they say, there are always some words of truth that I can recall suddenly and know that I can use to respond to them. And then they would often give me this look that they just had a moment of realisation, which makes me feel awkward and shy (and then I feel a lot and want to cry again, haha). But even though that feels uncomfortable, I am glad that God gives me this gift to have the ability to bring comfort and shed some lights to the people I care in this way.
Miss you a lot, Andy. Want you to know that I am also willing to always be your listener too. It enlightens me to listen to whatever you have to say, even though sometimes you talk a lot nonstop. I think you are very adorable 😊
PS. There is a high chance that we will go to the UK in end April/early May instead of end March because my mom finally came to her senses that she shouldn't be rushing to be there while she has to transition from her retirement. I am glad to know I have a bit more time to be here a bit longer before flying again.
My outfit today:
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