Friday night out

hello, how are you? miss you.

Tonight I am actually writing to you on my way home instead of from bed. I went to our church care group gathering this evening at one of the couples’ home, at Lohas Park. They wanted to switch to weekday night instead of Sunday afternoon, and this is the first time I am joining with this timing.

I am not sure if it suits me that well, because it’s very inconvenient for me to get to Lohas Park, as you know, there isn’t MTR station at Siu Sai Wan. Also, I might sound like an old person here, but my physical and mental energy level isn’t always enough allowing me to stay till that late. Like today, I actually left early at 11ish because I was starting to feel dizzy and drowsy again, and I worry I would start getting the same gut wrenching “homesick” feeling again if I don’t go home and rest soon.

We usually do a session of bible study when we meet, and today we actually looked at some chapters about romantic love. It actually feels a bit awkward for me whenever we take turns to share on the reflection questions, because I am the only one there who is still single. I also don’t really feel comfortable yet to openly share about my stories. No one pressure me to do so, I think it’s just me feeling uncomfortable in that setting. But I feel God still had something personal and private for me to takeaway from the study as I hear other people’s sharing.

One of it was shared by the girl who led this session. She said “We (women) often have a lot insecurity about our physical appearance. But God doesn’t judge by appearances and in God’s eyes, we are all beautiful.” Another is from a video that we watched together. It says, “True romance goes beyond physical attraction.”

I feel this is something that I have struggled too with my past stories, like Edwin. Most of the time these days, I feel I have overcome that part of self doubting, but at times, those feelings still come back to me. Sometimes I would also wonder if you were attracted by me because of my appearance, or beyond that.

I am going to rest now as I am feeling quite exhausted from staying out late tonight. miss you, good night.

Wanted to show you the snorlex socks I wore today: