Gen Z me

hello dear, how was your saturday? I miss you.

My stomach is still quite weak and unwell that I still have a stomache and poop very soon after I eat. It’s been so many days and I actually think I am a bit dehydrated because sometimes my legs feel strengthless. I can’t wait to go for my chinese doctor appointment tomorrow.

After what happened on Thursday, I stayed home for work on friday, I had some casual interaction with Edison on Slack and Whatsapp, and I gradually felt less emotional. At the same time, I also spent the whole day pondering whether or not I should open up to him to share my feelings.

And after reflecting and asking God for guidance about it, I felt like it’ll be the right, mature thing for me to take the first step to reconcile with him, if I truly value having a genuine relationship with him. My only hesitation was that I don’t know how he’ll take it and I was scared that I’d make it worse or end up feel more hurt if he reacted coldly. But then I suddenly remembered these words that the pastor shared last week at church. He said, “Too often, fear dominates our lives. It captures us into a box and chains us to what could be a preferred outcome. So don’t let fear win, or your excuses, as valid as they may be, chart the course in your relationships.”

I feel like it really spoke to my situation, and I was reminded me not to let my fear of rejection be what’s stopping me from rebuilding my relationship with someone I care. So I dropped him a slightly long message last night to share about how I felt on thursday, and he apologised.

Even though the messages read like he’s being cold, but I know Edison that he’s not the soft kind who casually pleases people, and he only said sorry when he feels sorry. And I replied “it’s okkkkkk” after his replies.

I am glad that I opened up to express my feelings this time and I think I feel less bottled up and a lot better now. And I hope we both can find the sweet spot in our relationship eventually that we both feel comfortable with each other.

I went out today to meet with my two friends for dinner, I dressed so much like a gen z, haha

Also sharing with you that we also did a bit of shopping at Uniqlo, and these are the outfits I tried :)