Good Friday ❤️‍🩹

hello my dear, how are you? how are you spending the long weekend? 😊

For me as a Christian, Easter has become one of the most significant festivals since the last few years. For this year to observe Good Friday, I decided to commemorate Jesus’ death on the cross for our sins by spending today quietly. I went out for brunch and wet market shopping with my brother at noon. After that, I spent the whole afternoon at home reflecting on the significance of this day and what it means to me practically. Then in the evening, I attended the Good Friday service at my church.

During my quiet time in the afternoon, I simply reflected on this one verse in the Bible: “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

I thought back to all those really low moments when I almost give up on myself, how God always shows up and reminds me that he still loves me and doesn’t give up on me despite my weaknesses and mistakes. He loved me at my darkest.

It reminds me of this song called “How He loves”that I really love because of how beautiful the lyrics are, and I decided to play it on loop today so that I could chew on the lyrics. This is the part that touches my heart the most:

We are His portion and He is our prize

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes

If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss

My heart turns violently inside of my chest

I don't have time to maintain these regrets

When I think about the way He loves.

The last line “I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves” struck me every time I hear it. It reminds me that perhaps the best way for me to respond to this overwhelming love God has shown me is to rise above the shame and darkness that I often find myself drowning in.

One of the practical things I could think of to take a step in doing so is I finally made up my mind to apply for that mission trip I shared about earlier this week. Aside from all the considerations I shared about before, my last hesitation was that I wasn’t sure if I am ready for it. After going through all these mental health issues, I’ve learnt how important it is that I take care of myself first before I start to take care of anything/anyone else. I still think that is extremely important, but this mindset sometimes also keeps me in a comfort zone and becomes a barrier for me to step up for God. But then I was reminded that growth often only happens when we are stretched. And today I really felt the certainty that my heart is ready for this opportunity to serve, and I know that if there’s any area in me that is not ready, God will equip me if it is his will for me to go.

So I used the remaining time of my afternoon quiet time to apply for the mission trip :) I applied for the Vietnam one instead of Mongolia in the end, because I figured that the timing for that is better for me. The application turned out to be such a long form to fill in, haha. I think it is actually part of the screening process. I will let you know if I got it :)

Love you, and miss you dear Andy. I hope you have a good time during this Easter holiday, and know that I think about you a lot. 🤍

I realised I haven’t shared a front on selfie for awhile, so here is one 😊

Photos of the Good Friday service I went to this evening