Hiking with new outfit :)

hello dear, how are you? miss you and need a hug, as I am feeling a lot again ):

I was going to write here yesterday but I didn’t because I had a really bad food allergy reaction after the mid autumn family dinner. I started to have stomach as I got home, and then I had diarrhoea three times after I got home. Then I started to have hives on my legs and arms. I had similar food allergies before too, but I think it’s the first time I had hives. Based on my past allergies experience, I suspect it’s either they used some really low quality peanut oil or the seafood is not fresh. Thankfully the reaction died down gradually as I pooped them all out, and I am mostly fine today.

And today, I went to hiking finally again after several months. I wasn’t sure if I should go at first because of the typhoon. But I am glad that I went because the breeze was really nice and I really needed to sweat. But the most precious part of the hike for me still is definitely spending time to draw myself closer to God again at the peak.

I feel like recently I have been feeling anxious about my future again. Things like my singleness, relationships, career and financial prospects etc. I have been thinking over a lot of things and sometimes I just can’t help feeling I am lagging behind compared to others at my age or where I wanted myself to be.

As I be honest with God about these doubts I have about the future and asked him to guide me through my anxiety, I feel God responded me through the song that I was listening to at that time. It’s a Christian music and the lyrics that went on repeat actually came from the Bible. It says: “This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

These words struck my heart in an unexpected way because it wasn’t explicit answers about my future that God gave me, but instead he reminded me to shift my focus back to the present (this day) by being glad in it and giving my best to all the things he has put on my plate in this season of my life. That can be focusing on improving both my mental and physical health, learning new skills and things while remaining in my current role at work, showering love to the people around me in ways that they need etc. And trust that as I do so, he is at the same time working all things together to be in place for my future.

I really enjoy how I get to draw close to God and have these conversations with Him in the beautiful nature whenever I go hiking. That peak definitely has now become my second favourite place to cry, haha.

I went home and rest after the hike. But then something worrying on my brother’s side happened as we finished dinner. His girlfriend suddenly called him and had a mental breakdown because of some family issues. I don’t want to share too much details about it here, but basically her brother has been having some serious behavioural issues and he just went off rails again earlier. Usually I am not involved in these situations as my brother would go to his room and handle his gf. But this time I think her breakdown was too sudden and serious, so my brother came to seek my help.

The tension kind of has been resolved now on her side. But as you know my emotional state is also not always stable, I felt a bit triggered and affected too after listening to my brother ams sharing my advice to him. So I think I also need to give myself some space and time to recover and destress from what happened. That’s why I said I needed a hug at the start of this post ):

I will try to rest and relax after writing here as I go to sleep. Miss you , thinking about you, and good night 🫂

Sharing with you my new hiking outfit with this new top and shoes that I got :)

I discovered this random angle for photo, I like it cause it makes me look like my waist is slim, haha