Miss you, dear.
I know I said I felt better yesterday… but I pooped 7 times in a morning today 😣 I ended up spending another day on bed. But other than the pooping, the other symptoms are gone.
I also think I hit my new “limit”, I weighed myself this morning and I was only 45.6kg… According to BMI, I need to be 47.4kg - 57.6kg to be at normal weight. I remember you used to carry me, and you would say that I was not that heavy. Maybe you’ll find me even lighter now. (I miss you carrying me)
I hope I really am recovering tomorrow, because I am supposed to leave Manchester and head to Dublin on Tuesday, then London before I come back to HK.
On the other hand, my parents seem to be very sad that I am leaving soon, especially my dad. I think they are going to really miss me. They are already asking me to come visit them in September, I don’t know about that yet.
I feel a bit bad that I haven’t been helping them a lot in the last few days because I am sick. There’s still one more bed and a working desk for the third bedroom that are not assembled yet. I know it is not my obligation, but it’ll be better if I can help since they are quite heavy and need to go on the first floor.
But I also remind myself that I need to learn to let go sometimes. There will definitely be many things that my parents need to figure out by themselves, and I can’t be here to help them forever. My hope is that they’ll slowly find their own pace and enjoy their retirement life here.
Although I got sick towards the end, this stay with them for the past month has meant a lot to me (I hope for them too). As I wrote here before about my struggles with them, from feeling very frustrated at the start, to navigating through it and realising that I am able to see this as a “second chance” for me to do it better this time.
Now that I look back at the past 4 weeks, even though it seems like I have sacrificed a lot, I also realise that I have gained a lot through giving. And thinking about that makes me feel really grateful. Now that I am about to leave, I will learn to not worry too much about my parents and remember that God will take care of them just as how he has taken care of me when “no body” is around.
I don’t know what you are going through recently, Andy dear. But one of the things that I pray very often about is also that while I am not able to be around you physically, God will take care of you and protect you. And for tonight, my prayer is that you’ll find the courage and wisdom to navigate through your circumstances, whether it’s an internal one or an external one.
Love you and miss you.
My sick, ugly face:
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