Miss you :(

hello my dear, how are you?

I have been feeling a bit unwell for the last two days, but I don’t really know how to describe it. It’s probably a mix of physical and mental. It’s like I could feel my mood is not so good and I would cry especially in the morning and evening but without any specific reasons. My sleep is also not very good and I have to be vey conscious to regulate my breathing. But during the day, I seem to be okay and functional.

I am sorry that I didn’t write here yesterday even though it’s a holiday. I just sometimes have these days when I get to rest on bed in the evening, I found it really hard to put any words here to share about my day, and I think it’s because I had too much interaction with the world or people during the day that used up my mental energy, and I just really need some absolute alone moment to process my day and reset myself before I can organise my thoughts and feelings to write here.

I miss you a lot, dear Andy. I was looking at flights to the UK just now before going to bed, and it makes me miss you even more. I want to make this trip before my silver cx membership expires in September. There aren’t a lot of good deals because it’s summer, but I think I managed to figure something out. I think I might try to do a 4 weeks trip this time, from early July to early August. I am thinking to go to London for a few days, then Manchester for 2ish weeks, then Amsterdam for a few days. I chose Amsterdam as the additional european city to visit because I have always been very into WWII stories and I kinda want to revisit those attractions. But the purpose of this trip is still supposed to be for me to spend a bit more time in the UK, especially in Manchester to experience the life of living in our house.

The plan seems to “make sense” so far, but I don’t know why after looking at all the tickets and stuff, I suddenly don’t want to go anymore. I think I am scared again to step out of my comfort zone, my routine life in HK, even though the comfort zone isn’t really that comfort.

I guess that’s why I miss you even more when I think about all these. I was always less scared and more confident when I knew you are there supporting me as I step out of my comfort zone into the unknown, and how much greater it will be if I have you with me on this journey.

Miss you, dear, good night. (maybe I’ll go to Dundee again this time when I am in Manchester, haha)

Me yesterday , I went to church in the morning, had lunch with Vienna then did some shopping before I went back home.