Office day with trip thoughts

hello dear, how are you? miss you.

Today I went in to the office for some work that I have to do in person. After almost two years of returning to Hong Kong and working in Meyer in my current role, I still find it mentally challenging sometimes to be in the office for a full day, even though I only go in for 3-4 times a month.

I don’t think it’s about the actual work. Like today,  I was in for two work sessions for two separate projects and it’s supposed to be a pretty easy day without any meetings with management. But throughout the day, I would experience these unpredictable swings of mood and energy level. For example, I would suddenly really want to cry and feel like I just need to pause whatever I was working on. And coping with that and adjusting myself so that I can behave and perform consistently and steadily in front of others make it really challenging and draining for me.

I guess this implies that there’re still some “stuff” internally within me that I need to figure out to make this more manageable, because honestly I know having to only be in the office 3-4 times a month is already so little compared to others. I can’t imagine if I have to do more than that.

I also want to share with you that after sinking it in for two days, I think I figured out a bit more about my UK trip. I will probably do a 4 weeks trip from 9 July to 7 August - 5 days in London, 2.5 weeks Manchester, and 4-5 days in Amsterdam.

I have been procrastinating on deciding because I am just not sure if I want to do it. And for the last few days I even have been asking different people like my parents, brother, and my boss to see if they think there will be any issues to do this, as if I am hoping they can help me decide. I also have been asking God to shed some light on this so that either way (go or no go), I can feel more comfortable with deciding. But the truth is all of the people I asked feel so chill about it, it’s as if God is also keeping both doors open for me to decide by myself.

The tickets for the dates I looked at are really affordable at the moment so I think I will have to book it very soon. But I still want to give myself another night to digest and sink in before booking it.

Miss you, dear Andy. I don’t like being far away from you, that has always been how I feel. I guess it’s because the further I am from you physically, the more I feel I miss you. So I just want you to know that whether I am here in HK or in the UK, I will always be missing you a lot. Good night.

Took this weird angle photo today because I wanted to show you my bra top outfit, haha.