Psyduck and me

miss you, dear Andy.

Today is Monday, I went to the chinese doctor as usual except that this time, I brought my psyduck with me, haha. It’s because every time during acupuncture, I am so scared of the feeling of the needles pinning in my skin, so this time I brought psyduck to be my “stress ball”.

I think I probably is the silliest 28 years old patient he’s met so far, haha.

I also have something else to share with you. Vincent confirmed last friday that similar to this year, he wants me to go to the trade show in Frankfurt in February next year. Not sure if you remember, but when I went for that show earlier this year, my graduation happened to be at similar time too, so I went to several places in one trip in the end - London, Manchester, Frankfurt, and Malta.

I was on video call with my parents earlier today, and they said they are probably going to spend CNY here in HK and come back from mid January to end March. My mom said it’d be good if I can go to Manchester during this trip and check on the house to make sure everything is okay. But my dad said the other way round, he said wouldn’t it be better if I come back to HK sooner after Frankfurt since they two will be in HK during that time.

As for me, my heart and mind just went racing again as I heard all these opinions and voices around me. The truth is, I don’t really know what I want to do with this trip. I don’t know if I want to visit the UK again and the house? Do I want to visit somewhere else too like Malta last year? Is this a good idea? Am I making use of this to run away from my problem and probably my parents again? Or should I just make this a quick trip for Frankfurt only? Do I even want to do any of these at all? But do I have a choice?

I don’t know. At least I don’t think I have the answers in my heart yet. And by now I already know myself enough that whenever I have these anxiety creeping in my mind, it means it’s time for me to sit back and create some space to figure things out with myself and God. The reality is as much as I want to figure out the “best” move or plan now for this trip that is going to happen in 3.5 months’ time, what do I know about the future? So perhaps the only thing I can do now, is to make sure I give myself enough time to sit with it and process it before I land on a “plan” eventually.

Miss you, Andy.