How are you doing, dear Andy? Miss you very much.
Yesterday was Sunday, it’s also my last full day here in the UK — I will be flying back to HK today evening.
I went to church yesterday morning and then had a catch up with some schoolmates from Kingston in the afternoon. We went to this cafe that I miss quite a lot. After a long period of solitary, it’s always quite nice to meet some people.
Can’t believe this 5-week trip is finally coming to an end. I remember before it started, I felt this was going to be the longest “painful” 5 weeks. But turns out it just passed by so quickly, perhaps because of how occupied I have been.
For the last two years since I started travelling back and forth between HK and the UK, I have always had this feeling that I am moving from one “season” to another whenever I travel to the other side of the world. And in each season, there is always something special that God wants me to learn and experience.
I remember before I set off 5 weeks ago, just as I always do before I travel, I felt really really scared without even knowing the reason. And in that fear, I made a really simple prayer to God, that is “I don’t want to go without his presence.”
Now that I look back to the past 35 days, whether it was when I was on that 4-hour solo drive down to Manchester, or in deep cry and mental breakdown under the blanket because of my frustrations with my parents, or as I laid sick on bed, or traveled as far to Dundee, Dublin, and now on the busy streets of London, all by myself, there wasn’t a moment that he left me alone. He was always there championing me no matter what mental state I am at each day. And it was his presence that gave me the strength and courage to carry on my journey whenever I didn’t feel like to.
If I have to summarise this trip, I would probably say it is such a fulfilling trip, not because of all the hard work I have accomplished for my parents or the things I have checked on my to-do list, but because of the grace and love I get to experience from God throughout the journey when I chose to trust that what he’s prepared for me is more than what I imagined.
As I said earlier, I always stress out or get really nervous every time before I travel. Same for this time as I am coming back to HK, not knowing what to expect in this next season, how I am going to battle all those unending mental fluctuations and breakdowns.
But one thing I want to remind myself (and you too) today before I go, is that love casts out fear. I heard this saying the other day that really struck me: “We do this without noticing - but most of the decisions we make in our day to day are always out of either love or fear.”
My hope is that we are able to differentiate the two in our everyday life. And when we find ourselves driven by our overwhelming fear, we can remember to hold on tight to the love that we have received, because only love can cast out fear. ❤️🩹
Love you, a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot. :)
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