Rough night and my recovery

hello dear, how are you?

After writing my last post here on Sunday, I had a rough night of sleep. I woke up at 3am and felt these bone/muscle pain randomly all around my body. And I felt like I really really wanted to cry but I couldn’t cry at all. I was in this state until almost 6am when I could finally fall asleep, but then I started to have these nightmare that I was crying in the dream. But in reality while I was asleep, I was experiencing the kind of “crying breathe” that makes you feel like you can’t regulate your breathe without actually tearing up.

I woke up feeling very unwell mentally, so I messaged my chinese doctor and told him what happened. He asked me if I was having some emotional troubles, so I told him very briefly about how I suddenly felt very tired and depressed after going out with my brother’s girlfriend. I was supposed to have my weekly appointment on Wednesday instead Monday this week because I got some work meeting conflicts, but he asked me if I wanted to change my appointment back to that morning (Monday morning). So I moved around my work schedule and went to visit him at noon.

After checking my pulse and stuff, he said my heart beat was super fast. Aside from the regular treatment, he had me lie down for acupuncture for longer this time. I always feel scared of the needles pinning on my skin during acupuncture, so I would bring my psyduck soft toy with me for the treatment. This time during the acupuncture while hugging my psyduck, I almost couldn’t hold my tears. Luckily I only shed some tears after he left.

I feel a lot better after the acupuncture, at least I was finally able to regulate my breathe properly. Now that I think back, I must have acted like a 3 years old yesterday who has a frowning face and could barely speak for herself in front of my chinese doctor. I know I really needed to rest and recover mentally and physically, so I took it easy yesterday at home and allowed myself to “be in my own world”. I finally had a big cry before I went to sleep. I think crying does help ventilate my emotions and I could finally sleep normally last night.

I am feeling a lot calmer throughout out today (look at me on bed now like a baby :)) Miss you my dear, I hope I will be able to maintain this state for longer. Good night dear