How was your weekend, Andy? I hope you weren’t caught in the rain and storm too much.
Today, I had lunch with my brother, Sammi (his girlfriend), and Vienna after church. During the lunch, Vienna told me that her new boyfriend had asked her to meet his mom next week.
I thought I would feel triggered by this combination for the lunch, but for some reason my bitterness didn't really creep in this time. And in fact when I was on my way home alone, I actually felt genuinely glad for both my brother and Vienna that there are these new chapters in their lives. Beyond the gladness I feel for them, I also feel grateful for being able to witness and walk alongside them as they go through these different life stages.
I can’t think of any reasons for me to feel that way other than love that I have for them as their sister/friend, and it's a kind of love that is bigger than jealousy.
It is such a unique feeling when I realized that even though I do not have all those things that I wish to have yet when compared with them, I can still feel grateful in a different way.
I believe it is God’s work in my heart, as he comforts me again and again in my dark cave by reminding me that he is near and has not forgotten me in my circumstances, my heart is changed and I can start to see things from a different perspective.
It is a gradual process, I feel that there’ll always be times that I do better, and times that I feel like I am back in the pit with loads of questions in my head. But the one belief I hold on to is: Seek and you will find. It is the most personal experience I have had as I navigate through those uncertainties and questions.
I don't know how your life has been recently. But I am guessing you have doubts and questions in your heart too that you're looking for answers. I just wanted to encourage you to don’t stop searching for it, I believe that it will be revealed to you too in a way that is unique to you.
Love you and miss you.
Sharing with you my weekend outfit:
The rainy outfit and the weather too hot outfit
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