How are you, my dear? I miss you so so very much, Andy.
My trip to Thailand with Edison has been confirmed, I still need to sort out the dates but I am already seriously stressing out about this now.
I know I said I’ve managed to work with him fairly well these days on our projects, but the more I think about it, the more I can’t imagine how AWKWARD it’s gonna be for the two of us to be on this trip alone. My mind can’t help overthinking: Are we going to have to stick together for the whole day everyday? How about the hours after work? I am more than happy to be on my own but I am not sure if it’s safe for me to hang around by myself in Thailand especially the factory is not near Bangkok city, unless I just hide in whatever place that we will be staying at for nights but that sounds poor.
Also, there’s a chance that the trip will have to be over a week. I know he probably will have his own plans for the weekend because his Thai family is there. Again I am more than happy to have my own space, but that’ll mean I’ll have to figure out ways to spend the weekend while keeping myself safe in Thailand. This is going to be mentally stressful and exhausting for me.
The potential date I might be going is 8/8-16/8 (next Thursday). This is all so rush, and that’s 9 DAYS of awkwardness that I have to tolerate, not to mention the space I need for my mental health.
You know me, Andy. Just like the Paris trip, I don’t actually want to go anywhere. I just want to feel settled and secured. Right now, I am overwhelmed by my anxiety. I miss you, I miss hugging you tightly, that always makes me feel safe.
🥺
A selfie I took of myself today before I found out all these updates about the trip, I thought I looked silly.
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