How are you Andy?
Today I suddenly recalled this photo you took of me, I still have it in my album. It is the exact one that you airdropped to me.
I remember you said this is your favourite one out of all the photos you have taken of me, but you didn't say why. I like it a lot too, mainly because I had your hoodie on and it captures how comfortably happy I am when I am with you.
I looked very closely at myself in this photo today, I think I look a bit different now, maybe less youthful, a bit 'aged' (haha). I guess we do change over the years, don't we.
But it got me thinking, what do you think of me these days? Do you still feel the same about me as you did 2 years ago? I guess these are the questions that I have always been so scared to think about, because it'd be naive to assume that the other person feels the same after 2 years when there hasn't been any real interaction. At least that's what my logical mind tells me.
But that's also the exact reason why I have to take the courage to tell you here from time to time, even though it's been 2 years and images of the past might be getting more and more blurry, my love for you never really fades away. I still feel the same about you.
I still remember the hugs I got back in August when we met again in the studio. They felt the same, except maybe even warmer. I remember exactly the way you looked at me, the look that tells me you have a thousand words you wanted to say to me, but you had to hold them all back. My heart still aches whenever I think about that look of yours, because it is that look that makes me want to wrap your heart with my love, but I can only do that if you let me do it.
You are valuable to me not because you can do certain things or have certain things, not because you have done certain things for me, it's simply because you are you, the one and only Andy.
I guess I just really miss you tonight. This is just a vulnerable sharing of the bits of internal fear that I have to deal with.
Goodnight, dear. I hope you know how much I wish to have a chance to properly love you.
Comments