How are you, dear? Have you been busy?
Today, my iPhone decided to suggest to me a memory series of “portraits” and here are what’s in there:
It’s basically loads and loads of you, haha. I spent a good few minutes looking at these and smiling.
I remember every single moment of each of these photos. The last photo there was taken on my birthday in 2021. I remember secretly I was really looking forward that you’d celebrate with me. We got the cakes during lunch, and you took this photo of me with the cakes below with your camera before we had them.
But I actually prefer a photo with you and the cakes, because to me you being there in that moment is what’s the most memorable for me, so I suggested that we take a selfie.
It’s definitely not the best looking selfie, but I like it and treasure it a lot. 🤍
I remember feeling a bit awkward when I took that. I always have these moments when I have these really really strong, uncontrollable affection towards you that I just can’t hold within myself, but at the same time I reminded myself that you have a girlfriend, and probably don’t really like me the same way. And that makes me feel sad secretly and I hold back showing my feelings for you.
But you were always my favourite during my time in Meyer, if Edison was a 9 out of 10, you are a 1000 out of 10 and that’s when I said the scale isn’t applicable to you, remember? :)
Sorry, I didn’t mean to get nostalgic tonight, I swear it’s my iPhone. To be honest, I am not always this brave to look at these photos as they always make me tearful and miss you even more. But they are also the most precious, good memories to me that are always worth looking back even though they remind me of the pain that you are not with me now.
And lastly before I go to bed, I just want to ssy: My dear Andy, I promised you that I will still try my best to live out a life worth living even though I don’t always feel like it. I’m doing my best everyday to keep that promise.
And here is a photo of me tonight to bring you back to Hannah in 2024. Miss you, my dear Andy.
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